Taoyuan Nights

Scene: Mu walking down street on hot day.

Mu: (thinks) Ah! A tea shop. I’ll get myself a nice cup of tea.
Mu: Hey there. Can I have a cup of lemon green tea please?
Guy: Sorry?
Mu: Qing, yi ge li mon lu cha.
Guy: Oh, ok, lemon green tea.
…
Guy: You want some sugar?
Mu: A little bit, thanks.
…
Guy: You want a bag?
Mu: Err, no, it’s OK, I’ve got this bag here.
Guy: Ok, $20.
Mu: (hands over $20)
Guy: Oh, I forgot - do you want a house?
Mu: Err… sorry?
Guy: Do you want to buy a house?
Mu: Err… you mean a house, like a place to live?
Guy: Yeah.
Mu: Err… no thanks.
Guy: Oh, ok.

God, how I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say “No, just the tea will do, cheers”. But Taiwan always takes you by surprise, coming at you from some crazy angle, orthogonal to reality, that you can never possibly anticipate.

I look forward to the day when I can take this kind of thing in my stride… but it seems unlikely to happen. Even today, after a game of badminton, someone introduced themselves as follows:

“Thanks for the game.”
“Hey, you too. It was a good game.”
“I am called person.”
“Err… you mean, you are a Taiwanese person?”
“No, my name is person. P-E-R-S-O-N.”
“Err…good to meet you, person. That’s certainly a very unique name you have there.”

I guess this is part of why I love it here. It’s like living inside a giant magic 8-ball.