Taoyuan Nights

I wrote a post about how it seems that the desire for friendship, purely for the sake of friendship itself, sometimes seems to be considered shameful in Taiwanese society. Instead, it feels like you must have some ‘justification’ for seeking contact with other people - research, language exchange, employment or whatever. Dating seems to be an even more extreme form of this situation.

The idea that in Taiwan, I should avoid seeking ‘friends for the sake of friendship’, is one that I’m not very comfortable with. I don’t see my friends as tools I can use to achieve tasks. Therefore, it seems there may be some cultural lines that I am unwilling to cross in my engagement with Taiwanese society.

After writing my previous post, I received some interesting replies, particularly those from Cary Allen, and Kerim Friedman. Thanks for writing, guys! For the moment, I’m taking the original post offline while I reflect upon the ideas raised in correspondance, to make sure I am being fair to Taiwanese culture.

Particularly, the idea of ‘cultural translations’ as a way of understanding ‘white lies’ in other cultures, is an interesting one.

“I just wondered if I could borrow some coffee” might be considered an example of a similar situation in early dating in western society, which due to its familiarity seems more an excuse than a direct lie or misrepresentation.

Is that something to do with the ’short-term’ nature of borrowing coffee, as opposed to the longer-term nature of ‘language exchange’ or ‘research’? Or, is it perhaps the ‘distance’ of borrowing coffee from a stranger, as opposed to seeking closer forms of interaction such as language exchange? Or is it something else? Am I applying two sets of standards here?

Either way, the idea of the necessity of an excuse in Taiwanese society, as part of forming a friendship, seems to remain as a seperate issue. This is something I’m still puzzling over.

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Anyway, please feel welcome to mail any ideas or suggestions to ‘mu’ @ this-blog’s-domain. And if you’re an intelligent Taiwanese person (age 22-32) and you want to make a new friend, it would be great to hear from you too.